Despair

 

 As I've mentioned before my mood swing can be bad at times.  Sometimes when I hit rock bottom everything seem hopeless.  I really hate all the medication I have to take to keep me going.  My mental state has been taxed beyond the limit and the worst part is I cannot open up to anybody as it can cause anxiety and worry to people near me.  I don't know how much more I can take.

Hang in there

 Yes, hang on and hang in there, don't give up.  My PSA, instead of free fall it is on the way up high.  The latest result - 180.  Requested my oncologist to change the steroid which I am taking with abiraterone, prednisone.  The new steroid I am now taking is dexamethasone.  I have been looking for answers on why my PSA is on the way up while I am on abiraterone+prednisone and this is what I've found: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30099821/ (the change of steroid might help to stabilize the PSA)  

I do not know how's the reaction of others taking the full course (4 tablets) of abiraterone but I could not take it as my body ache is very bad.  My spine, ribs and pelvic bones hurt so much you become miserable the whole day.  To manage the pain I took oxynorm (oxycodone 5mg) morning and night but could not help much.  The oncologist then changed to targin (oxycodone 10mg) which seems to help a lot.  

Why me, why me, why me.