5th week after radiation

 Today is the 5th week after I had my radiation on my neck.  A few days ago the pain started to reduce and is not so intense.  Oh, what a relief!  Since a day after the radiation I started to feel pain on my neck and head.  First it was mastoiditis, infection of the ear bone behind/between the ears.  10 days of antibiotic managed to overcome this problem.  However, I suffered another ear infection, which is external and not internal like mastoiditis.  Another week of antibiotic plus ear drops.  

All this while my neck was swollen and stiff.  The pain, intense and sometimes extreme, made my life miserable.  My oncologist and the radiotherapy staff did not warn me of what to expect after the radiation.  I had to take pain killer continuously without a break, even at night so as to be able to sleep.  To suffer pain is one thing but to suffer extreme pain is really miserable and depressing.

I am supposed to suffer from advanced stage cancer.  But now I am suffering from something else, it is really a joke.

Pain

 Pain, day in day out, nothing but pain.  I have to stuff myself with pain killers everyday.  I have to take opioids which is more effective for cancer pain.  Other then taking pain killers there is nothing much I can do.  Last week during the usual doctor's review the oncologist said there is no more option for me.  So now what am I supposed to do, just wait and see?. 

I am having skin atrophy for some time.  This is thinning of the skin which is due to loss of fat and muscle and the tiny blood vessels under the skin can easily burst.  Other then skin atrophy I am now starting to suffer from muscle atrophy, loss of muscle mass.  The muscle from my lower back, pelvic area, and my thigh starts to thin away.  My problems could be due to long term use of steroid and suppression of testosterone to maintain an acceptable PSA level.  Now I cannot sit for a long time as I will feel pain on my lower back (pelvic area) and thigh.  Less muscle to protect the bones.

My neck pain is driving me crazy.  After the radiation on my neck I had ear infection twice and lots of pain from my swelling neck.  It seems it will take 2 to 6 weeks to recover.  Sigh 😞, very sad.